Young men (and women) need Jesus

This isn't Jesus, it's Sir Gareth Southgate. Credit: BBC

Lost, isolated and hopeless young men

Like a lot of people, Sir Gareth Southagte, former England manager, is deeply worried about the future of next generation, boys in particular, whose lives are being ruined by online porn, gaming and gambling.

He thinks “young men feel lost, isolated, or without hope”, and that they are being exploited by social-media ‘role-models’ who are “callous, manipulative and toxic… whose sole drive is for their own gain… They willingly trick young men into believing that success is measured by money or dominance, never showing emotion, and that the world... including women... is against them.”

A solution!

Is there a solution? Gareth thinks so. And I’m fascinated because what Gareth proposes sounds a lot like… church and Jesus. 

Look, hear me out on this one!

Identity

In his recent BBC lecture, Gareth says young people need a sense of identity. Gareth says “Understanding that you are part of a bigger narrative that existed before you... and will continue long after you're gone… that's the first step to building belief and resilience.”

Church is where we learn that we are made in the image of God. This means we get a high sense of personal respect. But we also know that we are sinful, 'evil' people who need redemption, and so we have deep humility and we are aware of our potential to hurt others. We know that we are part of God’s people who have existed through the ages, the kingdom God is building that will last for eternity. Now that’s a strong identity!

Young people at SOUL, Grace Church youth group

Connections

Next, Gareth says youngsters need connections (real ones, not online ones).  He says, “you can have millions of followers online, and not one person to turn to when you really need help. The result is that too many young men are isolated. Too many feel uncomfortable opening up to family or friends.” A church is all about connections. We call each other ‘brother and sister’. We are there for each other. We work together. We actually see each other. We eat together. And we enjoy being with one another, this great mix of people from all sorts of backgrounds. Because Christ has forgiven us, we have the power to forgive one another - continually. This makes for deep and lasting connections. We treat one another with love and respect, learning not to use each other but build each other up and want the very best for one another.

Positive culture

And finally Gareth says - and this is the bit that really blew my socks off - the youth of today need a positive culture.  Southgate says: “We have to show young men that character is more important than status. That how you treat others is more important than how much money you make. That values matter... courage, humility, and integrity over selfishness, greed, arrogance. The culture we create today will shape the kind of men that we inherit tomorrow.” Wowzas! A church creates a culture of service and self-sacrifice amongst its members. The gospel says God has bent down to serve us by sending his Son to die on a cross for us. This totally transforms us. We are moved deep within to want to live our lives in service of others, not serving ourselves. We are motivated to consider our neighbour (which is anyone) as someone who is worth our respect. And we learn that real joy does not consist in ‘the abundance of our possessions’, as Jesus put it.

Young volunteers serve children at a recent church holiday club

Why even want this?

Think about this: Why do we think we should even live this way, and why want this for our children?

After all, isn’t selfishness, greed and arrogance all just part of the evolutionary process? If so, why not exploit people if it makes you happy? Why not tread over others if it makes you rich? So long as you succeed, what does it matter about anyone else?

But something tells many of us that that way of living is deeply wrong and destructive. What is it? As the historian Tom Holland has powerfully argued, it is the towering historical figure of Jesus Christ who taught and supremely modelled in his self-sacrificial death on a cross a different way of living. He has changed our minds to think that real strength is seen in compassion, self-sacrifice and radical love for others, even our enemies. 

A young person baptised at Grace Church Wakefield by someone not much older!

Get your kids to church

So Gareth Southgate says get your kids to church and tell them about Jesus… well alright, he doesn't actually say that. But I think he might as well have said it. Gareth doesn’t realise it, but he’s holding up all the virtues and morals that Jesus taught us to have.

Gareth doesn’t realise it, but he’s holding up all the virtues and morals that Jesus taught us to have.

Parents, if you want your children to have some chance of surviving the onslaught from social media, if you want them to have a big hope and big heart, if you want them to be able to stand tall but with a genuine humility about them, then get them to church.

At Grace Church we teach people about Jesus Christ. His words. His actions. His death, resurrection and return. It changes lives.

And we have great role models, including young adults who work hard, love their families well, and serve God and their neighbours in selfless and humble ways, and enjoy the life God has given in connection with others.

But is there any better role model than Jesus himself, the truly strong man who died for his enemies to make them his friends? And can anyone else give us and our young people hope for this life and the one to come?

It’s time to give church - and Jesus - another look.

Ian Goodson

----- Grace Church Wakefield meets every Sunday, 10.30am at Jubilee Hall SOUL, our youth group for high school students, runs Fridays in term-time, 7.30pm-9.15pm at Jubilee Hall